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Christmas Vacation

from A Handsome Christmas Holiday by Handsome Dan

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about

Based on the Holiday Classic of the same name this song is about family.

lyrics

Chorus:
we'll be the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse
Because Christmas only comes but once a year
Even though I'm sure I love you, I want to light you on fire
So shut up and pass me that beer

Verse 1:
There's an RV in the front yard
and the tree burst into flames
I'm gonna need more eggnog
to survive these reindeer games

grandma's got the bottom bunk
and grandpa's got the top
looking at a swimsuit model
I think he's gonna pop

The turkey's like a football
but harder to chew
It's only every Christmas
I wish I'd been born a jew

Aunt Bethany wrapped her cat up
and put it in a box
It's almost as horrifying
as whenever Eddie talks

Verse 2:
There's a rottweiler named snots
that might lay into you
it's best to just "let him finish"
if what Eddie says is true

When Eddie can't buy presents
Clark is there to help
He only asks that Clark buy something "really
nice" for himself

The Christmas lights are working
which wasn't always the case
and when they wouldn't turn on
you should have seen Clark's face

We checked on every bulb
but never checked the light switch
and maybe you could have guessed
it was that son of a bitch

BRIDGE:
be careful what you ask for because Eddie's not too bright
Like when he went out and kidnapped Clark’s boss tonight
He didn’t press any charges, but the police still broke in
And wanted to hit him with a hose that wouldn’t bruise his skin

credits

from A Handsome Christmas Holiday, released December 21, 2015
Handsome Dan, Cashmere, Mad Dog, Cash Mona, and Baby Paws

license

all rights reserved

tags

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The Handsome Dan Providence, Rhode Island

Handsome Dan writes songs for Handsome Dan.

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